I took a stupid career quiz a few days ago, and it got me thinking.

Stupid magazine quizzes are essentially simple versions of “scientific” psychological tests like the Myers-Briggs, and they’re not really very differnt from horoscopes, or handwriting analysis, or psychic readings. Except the people who write magazine quizzes are way less talented than the psychics.

The “answers” to stupid magazine quizzes, just like horoscopes, are broad and vague and at least part of them applies to almost anyone. There’s not really any suprising information there; nothing you didn’t already really know. But the writers of the magazine quiz are at a distinct advantage over the writer of a horoscope: they actually get you to tell them things about you! You answer a bunch of questions and then they regurgitate it back to you.

Psychics, on the other hand, are much more talented. I’m not talking about the people telling us that the world will end in fire and brimstone when the aliens arrive on a Tuesday in 2011. I’m talking about the real working-class of the psychic world, the people who do personal readings, or someone like John Edward. They take a look at you, gathering all kinds of subtle clues about you, ask a few questions and make some really remarkable connections, and hit you spot on. Sure, they might make some broad and vague and all-encompassing statements too, but they carefully gauge how you react and home in on the correct statements, or those that affect you the most. They don’t need no stinkin’ multiple choice questions.

(I don’t actually think psychics have supernatural or paranormal abilities per se, although I wouldn’t be surprised if many of them do this in a subconscious manner and are really surprisingly good at it in ways that are certainly extraordinary or preternatural. And I don’t think that makes them irrelevant or useless at all. But that’s material for a future rumination.)